


Kiss Me

by jeni_andtheafterthought



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Club Sex, Friends With Benefits, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Semi-Public Sex, harry kisses draco's neck/chest/stomach/hip/palm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-16 17:26:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14815686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeni_andtheafterthought/pseuds/jeni_andtheafterthought
Summary: Harry is fine with his acquaintances-with-benefits arrangement with Draco.  Well, there is the unfortunate fact that Harry has feelings for him.  It's nothing Harry can't deal with...at least until Draco says "kiss me", and things get complicated.





	Kiss Me

Harry loved and hated his arrangement with Draco.  He loved the way Draco would drag him away to some dark corner at a Ministry event and tug him off.  He loved the way he would get on his knees for Draco in the loo on pub nights.  He loved the way Draco could make him feel simultaneously used and cherished, but he hated the way he was always left wanting more.  

Harry wanted Draco.  He wanted everything.  He wanted to wake up next to Draco.  He wanted to touch him when people were looking.  He wanted to kiss him.  He wanted to be allowed to love him.

“Come on,” Draco whispered. “No one will miss us.” 

Harry complied immediately.  He couldn’t stop himself.  He wanted Draco in any way he was allowed to have him.  Stolen moments would have to do.

The door to the empty conference room was closed barely a second before Draco started pulling at Harry’s robes.  Before Harry realized what was happening, Draco’s fingers were tangled in Harry’s hair, leaning in until he could feel Draco’s breath against his lips.

“Kiss me,” Draco whispered.

Harry froze.  He wanted this.  Damn how badly he wanted this, but he couldn’t do it.  He couldn’t kiss Draco like he was just a quick fix in a dark conference room.  If he kissed Draco, he would kiss him like he needed him.  He would kiss him like he desired him, loved him.  He wondered how Draco would react.

“No,” Harry said.

For the smallest moment, Draco looked hurt, though Harry quickly convinced himself it was only his own wishful thinking.  Draco shrugged and dropped to his knees.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry hadn’t seen Draco since their last encounter in an empty conference room.    Of course, it wasn’t all that unusual.  Harry had a hard time getting their last encounter off his mind.  

He told Draco no.  He never told Draco no.  Harry refused to kiss him and Draco shrugged it off like nothing and didn’t mention it again.  For a moment, the smallest moment, Draco looked—

Harry refused to get his hopes up.  Draco may have looked disappointed, but Harry wasn’t going to tell himself that Draco may actually have feelings for him, too.  

“Get lost?” Draco asked.  He walked into the museum’s main gallery looking like he owned the place, which wasn’t an impossibility.

“No,” Harry said, “I just got here.  I have the jewelry I mentioned.  The stuff that I found in Grimmauld Place.” 

“Stuff,” Draco said, rolling his eyes, “hundreds of years old, made by goblins, probably enchanted, and it’s just stuff to you.”

“I mean, if your museum collection is complete without it…” Harry said.

“Come back to my office, we can start the paperwork.  We’ll finish it up when you bring in the pieces,” Draco said, heading toward his office.

Harry shrugged the backpack off his shoulder and, once they were in Draco’s office, handed it over.  “They’re all in there.”

“Honestly, Potter!” Draco said.  He immediately started pulling each item from the bag, checking for damage.

“I don’t want any of it back.  I don’t know if you need to write me a receipt to validate where you got it or whatever, but they’re probably more yours or your mothers than they are mine,” Harry said.

“In that case, I just have one form for you to sign then you’re all taken care of,” Draco said.  He pulled a piece of paper from his desk and slid it toward Harry.  

Harry leaned over the desk, took the quill from the holder and glanced over the fine print.  “Sure there’s nothing else you need from me?”

“You could,” Draco said, setting the backpack on the desk, “Kiss me.”

Harry froze, quill hovering over the paper.  Half his fantasies involved kissing Draco before bending him over his own desk, but how would he ever manage to get over his unrequited feelings if he gave in and kissed Draco?

Too much time passed.  Draco sighed and gathered up the jewelry.  

“I need to get this to one of our specialists,” Draco said. “You can leave that on my desk.  I’ll sign it and owl you a copy by the end of the day.”

With that, Draco was gone.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry could blame the alcohol, but he knew half a glass of firewhiskey couldn’t be blamed for letting Draco lead him through the club to a dark hallway near an emergency exit.  His heart pounded, head filled with the bass of bad techno remixes of muggle songs, and he couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Draco was holding his hand. 

Sure, he was only doing it to keep from being separated in the crowd, but they weren’t in the crowd anymore.  He pulled his fingers from Draco’s grasp and pushed him back until he was leaning against the wall.  

Harry freed Draco’s cock as he cast a charm against prying eyes. They hadn’t spoken a word since that day in Draco’s office over a week ago.  Hadn’t needed to really, not for what they were doing.  

Draco’s fingers pushed into Harry’s hair then trailed down his neck, chest and everywhere Draco could reach.  Harry worked his cock with one hand, the other pressed against Draco’s chest.  It was a double edged sword keeping his hand on Draco’s chest.  It kept him from leaning in, feeling Draco’s lips against his own.  It also kept the rapid beating of Draco’s heart right there under Harry’s palm.  

He wanted this.  Harry wanted this and so much more, but this is what he could have.  He could have the hands gripping his shoulders, the soft moans he could just hear above the now muffled music, and the feeling of Draco thrusting forward against Harry’s hand. That’s what he could have.

“Kiss me?”

Harry almost missed it.  Looking up at Draco, he realized Draco wasn’t telling him to but nearly begging.  He couldn’t.  He couldn’t do this to himself, but Merlin, he didn’t want Draco to leave like he had last time.  

Harry took Draco’s chin in a light hold and turned his face away.  Harry placed a trail of kisses down the side of Draco’s neck.  That was enough right?  Enough for Draco, but not so much that Harry would lose himself completely to this man who enjoyed using him.

Draco’s breath came in a harsh sob, and he took Harry’s face in his hands.  He pulled Harry’s face to his, resting his forehead against Harry’s.  Moments later, Harry could feel Draco’s body shudder with release.  His mind was not on the warm rush of come covering his fingers but on the way Draco moaned, open-mouthed, so close to Harry. 

He could almost feel it against his lips and his own release rushed through him.  Harry couldn’t be bothered to be embarrassed at coming in his pants with only the slightest friction.  

Draco’s thumbs brushed Harry’s cheeks in soft strokes, and Harry was so lost. In sixty seconds or so they would be back in the noise and harsh lighting of the club, not likely to cross paths again that night.  But right now, Harry pretended Draco loved him. 

 

* * *

 

 

Harry wondered if Draco had actually lost the paperwork for the jewelry donated to the museum.  As the curator of such a prestigious museum of magical history, such an oversight seemed unlikely.  Either way, he found himself in Draco’s office anyway.

“Hey,” Harry said, letting Draco know he was there.

Draco glanced up at him before getting another copy of the form to sign.  He didn’t say anything but held a pen out for Harry to use.

“How have you been?” Harry asked.

Draco looked at him like it was a strange question.  “Fine,” he eventually answered.

“You know,” Harry started, scrawling his name across the paper without giving it much attention. “We used to talk a lot more.”

“Yes, and there are some other things we used to do a lot less,” Draco said.

Harry smiled, and whether Draco took it as an invitation or if he wasn’t waiting for one, it didn’t matter. He was out of his chair and standing in front of Harry with a few smooth strides.  

“You don’t want to go back to doing those things less, do you?” Draco asked.

Waiting long enough to realize the question wasn’t rhetorical, Harry shook his head and said, “No.”

“Good,” Draco said, leaning closer. “I don’t either.”

 _I want more than this,_ Harry thought.

“I like what we’re doing,” Draco said. 

“Do you like me?” Harry asked.  He immediately regretted it, hoping he didn’t sound desperate and lovelorn.

“Kiss me.” Draco answered.

The sinking feeling in his chest told him to leave.  Everything else said,  _Stay_.  If he didn’t want Harry, at least he wanted something Harry could give him.

“It can be like last time,” Draco said, seeming to notice Harry’s hesitation. “You can do it like you did last time.”

Harry closed the distance between them, pressing his lips right below Draco’s jaw.  His pulse beat a steady rhythm against Harry’s lips until he moved to place another kiss right above the stiff collar of Draco’s robes.  Draco sighed and melted into Harry’s touch and they were both lost.  

Pulling Draco’s clothes away, Harry worked a line of kisses down Draco’s neck and onto his bared chest.  Draco braced himself against the desk top as gave kiss after kiss in a line down his pale skin.  

There was no hiding the trembling; Draco was letting himself fall apart under Harry’s touch.  By the time Harry reached Draco’s navel, Draco was a whimpering mess and Harry could thing of nothing but the feel and the sounds of the man in front of him.  

Harry got to his knees.  With his hand on Draco’s trousers tracing the length of his erection, he pressed kisses against his stomach.  With a final wet kiss against the soft skin above Draco’s belt, Draco crumbled.  

Harry was both shocked and pleased that he brought Draco to climax with nothing but kisses and a few light touches.  But when he looked up, Draco was already closing the buttons of his shirt.

“I…I have to go.  There’s a, a thing.  I should go, er, collect myself,” Draco said.  He was out the door before Harry even got to his feet.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry made his way to the apparation point behind the pub.  He saw Draco leave his table a few minutes before and was surprised to see him still standing alone in the dark.

“Took you long enough,” Draco said.

“Didn’t realize I had somewhere to be,” Harry said.

“You’re just going home?” Draco asked.

When Harry nodded, Draco placed a hand on Harry’s arm in a silent question.  Draco had never come back to Harry’s flat.  Now here he was, asking for a side-along; asking  _can I go home with you?_

Harry apparated them into his living room.  Seconds ticked by, and neither man moved.  They had all the freedom in the world, no need to hide or hurry, but the hesitation was unmistakable.

“I want you to fuck me,” Draco said, breaking the silence.

“You practice that opening line with your Grindr hookups?” Harry asked.  He smiled, trying not to let on how nervous he was.

“Would it bother you if I did?” Draco asked.

“Of course not,” Harry said. “My, er, experience doesn’t bother you.”

Draco shook his head.  Finally taking his hand off Harry’s arm, he said, “You’re with me right now.”

“I typically use spells, but if you prefer, I have condoms,” Harry said, moving toward the hallway leading to his bedroom.

“Spells are fine,” Draco said.

When Draco made no move to follow, Harry said, “You want to take this to the bedroom?”

Draco looked around the room. “Have you fucked anyone on your sofa?”

Harry shook his head. “No one’s fucked me on it either,” Harry said, leaving out the part about never bringing anyone back to his flat for a shag before.

“Then here’s fine,” Draco said, already pulling Harry’s clothes off.  

When Harry tried to help Draco out of his shirt, Draco gently pushed his hands away.  Draco had Harry’s shirt off and jeans pushed down to his knees before pushing Harry back to sit on the sofa.  Draco was crouched in front of him, pulling off Harry’s shoes and remaining clothing.  

“Watch me,” Draco said.  

“You really think I could stop myself?” Harry asked.

Draco smiled down at him and undressed.  There was no strip tease, Draco made no production of it, but watching each item of clothing come off had Harry’s heart racing.  By the time Draco’s trousers and pants were placed on the coffee table, Harry’s cock was hard and aching.

Draco knelt on the sofa with his knees on either side of Harry’s legs. “Touch me.”

Harry ran his fingers down Draco’s chest, stomach, and the length of his cock.  He was rewarded with a shudder.  He pulled Draco forward so he could run his tongue over a hardened, pink nipple.  He heard Draco cast the protection and cleaning charms between ragged breaths.  

“Put your fingers inside me,” Draco whispered.

“Lube?” Harry asked.  He looked up at Draco in time to see him shake his head.

“I did a spell,” he answered.  

Harry had barely started fucking his fingers into Draco when he was told to stop.  Draco lowered himself onto Harry.  He tried to take hold of his cock to help guide Draco.

“Let me do it,” Draco said, taking Harry’s cock in hand.  

He was dizzy with need, but Draco was calling all the shots.  

“Put your hands on my hips,” he said.  

Harry did as he was told.  He let Draco ride him.  Thrusting up to meet his movements, he pulled Draco’s hips down in strong, slow movements.  

Draco’s hands were shaking.  Pressed against Harry’s chest, he could feel it.  From the way Draco’s moans were turning into a broken whimper, Harry knew neither of them would last much longer.  

“Stop moving,” Draco said, taking Harry’s face in his hands. “Let me do it.”

Harry fought to hold still as Draco rested his forehead against his own.  He rocked his hips down toward Harry, taking him more deeply than Harry would have thought he could without Harry’s movements to help.

“Touch me,” Draco said.

Harry wrapped his fingers around Draco’s cock.  He stroked him at the same pace Draco worked himself onto Harry.  Both slow and desperate in his movements, Draco thrust himself down onto Harry’s cock until his whole body shook.  Harry would have loved to watch it, but Draco still had his face in his hands.  He looked up at Draco, his eyes closed and his lips parted.  His face was flushed and beautiful.  Draco continued fucking himself on Harry’s cock until Harry’s orgasm rushed through him.

Harry fought to keep a steady rhythm on Draco’s erection as the waves of his climax rolled over him.  He was vaguely aware of Draco saying, “Kiss me.”

Without thinking, he grabbed Draco’s wrist with his free hand and pulled Draco’s palm to his mouth.  He pressed kisses against Draco’s palm.  Draco’s movements only faltered for the barest second before his own climax took him.  

They stayed there, enjoying the afterglow until Draco reached for his wand.  A couple spells later, he lifted himself off Harry and started pulling his clothes back on.  Harry, starting to feel too exposed, pulled on his boxers and a t-shirt by the time Draco turned back to him fully clothed. 

“That was,” Draco sighed, “really amazing.”

“No kidding.  Imagine if you’d actually let me help,” Harry said.

Draco smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.  “I think I’m done.”

“What?” Harry asked.  His blood turning to ice in his veins.  

“I’ve really enjoyed this, this thing we’ve been doing, but I think I’m done.  I think we should stop,” Draco said.  There was no hint of hurt or anger or, hell, even boredom to his words.  It sounded like he was cancelling a magazine subscription.

“I thought you—” Harry’s thoughts were running in circles.  He’d said that he liked what they were doing.  He said he didn’t want to stop.  “What changed?”

“Nothing,” Draco said, gathering the last of his things. “Nothing changed.”  With a single loud crack, he was gone.

 

* * *

 

 

It was seventeen days before Harry saw Draco again.  Even then, Harry wasn’t really sure how to interact with him.  Harry sat in the empty seat across from him with his back to the rest of the pub.  

“Seat taken?” Harry asked.

Draco stared at him a moment before he shook his head.

“I’ve missed you,” Harry said.  He didn’t mean to say it or at least not lead with it.  It was the truth, but now that Draco didn’t want him anymore, it hurt to admit.

Draco scoffed.  “I’m a hard act to follow.  Give it time.  You’ll find someone,” he said without looking at Harry.  He pushed his half-empty drink from one hand to the other, keeping his eyes on it as it slid the short distance on the table.

“I said I missed you.  Not just the things we did,” Harry said.

“Please don’t,” Draco said.

“Don’t what?”

“I tried.  I’m not good with words…when talking about how I feel.  I thought if I could show you—” Draco paused to take a deep breath before he continued. “But you kept turning me down.”

“When did I…what are you talking about?” 

“I figured out that you’re not one for subtlety, but I really thought the last time made it obvious enough.  I thought you’d get it.  You’d see how I feel, but you shut me out again,” Draco said as he traced his fingertips over his palm.

Harry’s thoughts went back to the night he took Draco home with him. The night they had sex, Draco gave him everything and left him needing more.  He kissed Draco’s palm when he asked for a kiss only minutes before Draco said he was done with Harry.

“I didn’t know,” Harry said.

“Maybe because you just weren’t looking for anything with me,” Draco said.  “Fuck, this is tied for the most embarrassing moment I’ve had with you in years.”

“What’s the other?”

“You’ve already forgotten about making me come in my trousers just by kissing me?” Draco asked. “Guess I shouldn’t have mentioned it.  I could have denied the whole thing ever happened.”

“Kissing you.” When Harry repeated the words, everything seemed to click into place.  Every time Draco said it, he was trying to show him how he felt.  It was too much to hope that Draco loved him as much as he loved Draco, but it was something. “You really thought I was turning you down?”

“Yes, Harry.  Putting myself out there has never really worked out when it comes to you.  I knew I’d fuck it up if I tried to say it, but I thought I could show you.  That’s what I was offering every time I told you to kiss me,” Draco said.

“How was I supposed to know?” Harry asked.

Draco looked up at him for the first time since Harry sat down.  He asked, “And how was I supposed to hold out hope for a man who wouldn’t even kiss me?  I’m sorry, Harry, but I need to go.” 

He was gone before Harry could even try to stop him.

 

* * *

 

It had taken two days and a very awkward phone call to a mutual friend, but Harry had gotten Draco's address.  Standing outside Draco's door, Harry wondered not for the first time if this was a mistake.  He knew better to take this to Draco's workplace.  Harry didn't want to wait to run into him in a pub or club.  It could be weeks before there was another ministry event that they'd both be invited to attend.  So, here he stood.

Draco pulled his door open and froze.  "What are you doing here?"

"Draco, we need to talk," Harry said.

"Like hell we do," Draco said, sounding more defeated than angry.

Harry looked around, not really caring if they had an audience or not.  "Can I come in for a minute?"

Draco crossed his arms and stepped out of the way.  Harry took this as a passive invitation and stepped inside.  Looking around, he realized he had no idea what he was doing.  Harry hadn't expected to get this far.  He didn't turn back to look at Draco until he heard the door close.

"What do you want?" Draco asked.  

Harry may as well be looking at a mask for all the expression on Draco's face.  They stood there in expectant silence for as long as Harry could handle it.  "I have a hundred things to say, but they all feel so inadequate."

"Inadequate," Draco repeated.

"Well, it's not like we can go back and do this properly, so we just have to keep going.  I don't know how to start," Harry said.

"You're being uncharacteristically vague," Draco said.

Harry sighed.  "I already told you that I don't know how to say this.  It's not like you were doing any better."

Draco looked away, hugging his arms tighter across his chest.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," Harry said.  "I don't mean to make this anyone's fault.  I just- I don't..."

"I don't think this conversation is going to happen," Draco said.  He looked at Harry for a moment before reaching for the door.

"Wait," Harry said.  When Draco stopped, Harry stepped closer.  Harry's heart was racing and he couldn't tell if he was simply nervous or in a full panic at the thought that he was about to lose his last chance. "Maybe we can do this your way," he said, reaching to take one of Draco's hands in his own, "Kiss me."

He was beginning to see through Draco's carefully presented exterior.  The furrow to his brow, the rapid pace of his breathing, and other tiny signs that this was not going to end well should have been enough to get Harry to give up and leave.  Harry would not go unless Draco told him to, and right now, Draco was letting him hold his hand.  That gave him enough hope to say it again.

"Kiss me."

Draco looked Harry in the eyes for the first time since he let Harry into his flat. "Don't you dare play games with me, Potter."

"No games," he promised.  "Kiss me," Harry said again, close enough this time that their bodies were almost touching.

"No," Draco said.  

Harry's heart ached at the refusal, but broke at the thought that this is how Draco felt the last few times Harry refused to kiss him.  Draco made no move to pull away or to let go of Harry's hand, but he came no closer, either.  Harry had to try again.  "Can I kiss you, then?"

Draco fought to keep his breathing steady and lost.  His eyes were glassy with tears he stubbornly blinked away, all the while refusing to meet Harry's gaze.

Harry took Draco's face in his hands and whispered to him, "You can say no, again."  

Draco said nothing.  He grabbed Harry's shirt in both hands but neither pulled him forward nor pushed him away.

"Draco," Harry said, his lips a breath away from Draco's, "I can't kiss you if you don't tell me it's okay."  Harry needed to know that this is what they both wanted.

"Kiss me," Draco said.

Harry felt the words against his lips.  The moment the words were out, his mouth took Draco's.  Relief and desire warred within him.  When Draco whimpered against him, Harry deepened the kiss and poured every second of secret longing he'd endured.  He gave Draco all the warmth, the love that he'd been hiding these long months.  Every display of need was mirrored back to him in the way that Draco kissed him back.  Draco's soft, hot mouth opened to him, letting him know every secret.  Everything Draco had offered became clear with each slide of their lips, every press of his tongue.  The soft drag of teeth against Harry's bottom lip nearly had his legs give out beneath him.  

Still holding Draco's face in his hands, he pulled away.  He looked down to where Draco had a white-knuckled grip on his shirt.  Harry covered Draco's hands with his own, pulling them off his shirt.

"Wait," Draco said, unable to keep the panic from his voice.

"I'm not going anywhere," Harry said.  "You know you can touch me."

Draco hesitated.  So unlike all their other encounters, he moved like he thought he would scare Harry away.  Feather light touches traced up Harry's chest, up his neck.  Draco buried his fingers into Harry's hair and pulled him in for another kiss.  Harry stood there with his arms around the man he loved, kissing him like this was the only chance he would ever have.  He was vaguely aware that he made any noise at all, but every sigh and moan Draco gave pulled Harry higher and higher until he was dizzy with it.  Draco's fingers in his hair, on his face, everywhere else he touched him felt like the center of the universe, with everything held together by the taste of Draco's lips.

Minutes danced by, leaving them to explore their feelings with out the hindrance of words.  Harry only stopped kissing Draco when he felt him smile.  Draco's words were hazy. "Are there even words for this?" he asked.

Harry nodded, "I love you."

Draco's soft laugh didn't worry Harry a bit.  Draco felt the same, he knew.  Harry knew Draco couldn't kiss him like that if he didn't love him back.  

"You don't have to say it back," Harry said.  "I can wait until you're—"

"I love you, too, you idiot," Draco said. "Now, kiss me."

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally a response to a drabble request from a dialogue prompt meme. It was known on my blog as "13 drarry" for a while and the dialogue was "Kiss me." Each segment contains the phrase, and I never even meant to do a part 2. It ended up with 7 segments. Once I announced that part 7 would be the end, I responded to all further prompts for "13 drarry" with Napoleon Dynamite gifs. 
> 
> thanks to @lakitulover and six anons for dragging the story out of me.
> 
> and thanks to the-cellar-spiral for the idea of Museum Curator Draco.


End file.
